The Company They Keep: What you can do when your kid's posse is a problem (cont.)
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WHEN FRIENDSHIPS MUST END
If your child is in a situation in which her emotional or physical safety is
in danger, then there's no question the friendship should end. When it comes
to dissolving the relationship, Rubin says to let the child handle it. "If
he blames the split on Mom or Dad, he loses face," Rubin explains. "The
child who can say, 'I don't want to hang out with you because of ...' is
seen as having
a mind of his own."
What changed Devon's mind was the threat of being put in a class with students who show no interest in learning. "I'm gonna change my attitude," Devon told his mom. To help him along, Mom and Dad are focusing on Devon's behavior and leaving his friends out of it. They took away his video games and the designer shoes and clothes he wears to impress his buddies. With good behavior, Devon can earn them back.
Sidebar: What if she has trouble making friends?
Robin D. Stone is a freelance writer who lives in New York City.
COPYRIGHT 2004 Essence Communications, Inc.