HEALING HER HURT: Detroit native Robin Stone's new book breaks the silence about sexual assault within black families (cont.)
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The perils of silence
Stone and people who work with assault victims say there
is both personal and public danger in keeping quiet.
Assault victims are more likely to experience a variety of problems, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger and distrust.
"It's important for the child to be able to talk and share with a parent or someone they trust how they feel," says Rachel Grayson, a therapist who coordinates counseling for sexual abuse victims at Children's Services in Detroit. "It can help them work through their anxiety, stress and distress, to express their anger and their other feelings. It helps them in the healing process. Talking with a professional also helps a child believe that the assault is not their fault, which is very important for the child to know."
Stone says her research revealed that many women who are promiscuous, who abuse drugs, who become pregnant at early ages or who have eating disorders were sexually abused as children.
"This is a dirty secret in all communities," says Dr. A. Michele Morgan, a psychiatrist based in Detroit. "All families are usually very hush-hush."
But she agrees that blacks may have more difficulties because the stresses of the abuse must be added to the chronic stress of being a devalued minority.
"We're also slower to seek therapy outside of the traditional spiritual path," says Morgan, who is African American. "Fortunately, I'm finding that more and more pastors are willing to make the appropriate referrals to counseling."
Morgan says African Americans need to understand that most people in therapy are not psychotic. "They haven't had a break with reality," she says. "They are simply struggling with thoughts and feelings that interfere with their ability to enjoy life. If something is interfering with your ability to function at work, with your family, with your relationships, you owe it to yourself to seek help."
Stone's book also tells people about a variety of ways to get help, including art therapy, keeping a journal and reading.