SEXUAL ABUSE: TACKLING A TABOO (cont.)
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Ziba: Why did you decide to include a chapter on men and boys?
Robin: It started with a letter I got from a brother. He shared some of his experience
and the issues he faced. He felt he should have protected himself as a child.
That's different from responses I got from women. We tell our boys they
have to be self-sufficient, and you can see how if a boy is abused he would
blame himself for not protecting himself. There are so many reasons boys
and men do not feel that they can talk about having been abused. One primary
reason they remain silent is homophobia -- they fear people will think that
they're gay because they were abused.
Ziba: What's a first step for women and men who are ready to deal with the
abuse that they suffered?
Robin: I hope the book meets people where they are.
If they have not acknowledged the abuse, I hope it helps them take the next
step and acknowledge it. If someone has been contemplating questions like,
Do I confront my abuser? talk to my family? see a therapist? my hope is
that the book would help them decide that next step. That's one of the reasons
why I included different stories, and people in different circumstances
in dealing with this -- so that readers could see themselves in one or a
number of the stories and take that next step. When they're ready, there
is a list of resources in the back of the book.
Ziba: How has writing the book affected you?
Robin: Healing is a process. Writing this book was part
of that process. When I began, I sought to understand how abuse happens,
how people miss the warning signs and why adults seem unable to stop
it. If No Secrets, No Lies can help others understand and prevent sexual
abuse, then that will be most rewarding of all.
Copyright 2004 Essence Communications,
Inc.
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