Sexual Abuse: SPEAKING OUT ON THE SILENT SHAME (cont.)
............................................................................................................................
Dr. Beth Richie, professor and head of the department of African-American Studies at the University of Illinois in Chicago, believes that the best way to resolve issues involving sexual abuse is to "get intervention and not make it a secret matter any more."
If a child or adolescent has decided to discuss his or her experience, Dr. Richie says that it is important to believe what he or she has to say and offer lots of support. "Tell them that what happened is not their fault and get them into some kind of supportive treatment, whether it's individual or group counseling. Crisis hotlines and free victims' services are also good alternatives."
Reassuring the victim that the predator will be punished is essential. Dr. Richie, author of Compelled to Crime: Gender Entrapment of Battered Black Women, adds, "Find ways to sanely hold perpetrators accountable so that the person who has experienced the abuse knows that it was wrong and that it was an injustice that won't be tolerated."
To be an adult and to have never told another soul about being sexually violated as a youngster is unfortunately a common experience, especially for men. They are taught to hide their emotions and to "tough it out" in silence. But just like women, men do suffer from the long-term consequences of sexual abuse.
Terrance Dean, the founder and executive director of Men's Empowerment, Inc., in Detroit, is committed to helping men of color get through this and other situations with the help of his organization. Through monthly discussions men are encouraged to share their experiences as a healing for themselves and other men in the group.
Dean says that based on the group sessions, some of the commonalities between the victims of sexual abuse include having sexual intimacy problems with women and being withdrawn in many of their relationships with others.
"The men never feel alone in the discussion or sharing of their stories," explains Dean, author of Reclaim Your Power! A 30-Day Guide to Hope, Healing and Inspiration for Men of Color. "They find that there are others who have similar experiences, which allows them to open up.