Men Can Stop Rape
Review: No Secrets, No Lies: How Black Families Can Heal, by Robin D. Stone
http://www.mencanstoprape.org/info-url2699/info-url_show.htm?doc_id=233641
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Sure, there is a plethora of self-help books about recovering from abuse – sexual and otherwise. So why would we need one more? For plenty of reasons, but primarily because Robin D. Stone's "No Secrets, No Lies: How Black Families Can Heal from Sexual Abuse" is written so well. Last summer in this newsletter I reviewed Charlotte Pierce-Baker's "Surviving the Silence: Black Women's Stories of Rape," and while it and "No Secrets, No Lies" share similarities, they are different in significant ways. Both focus on the issue of silence. Both authors begin their books with their own stories. In both books interviews with survivors play a central role. And both books incorporate into their commentary social awareness of the ways in which the legacies of slavery and racism enter into present-day issues of sexual violence and abuse. While "Surviving the Silence" focuses specifically on rape, though, "No Secrets, No Lies" is limited to child sexual abuse.

Although not a professional in the field of child sexual abuse, Stone clearly spent considerable time researching the topic, evident in the book's thoroughness. In many ways "No Secrets, No Lies" could be considered three books in one. Stone masterfully weaves together stories of survivors (she interviewed over thirty, along with mothers, fathers, and other family members), background information about the social and cultural complexities of child sexual abuse, and guidance from leading psychologists, social workers, lay counselors, spiritual advisors, activists, and holistic healers about how to move through the process of awareness and healing. The survivors' stories make up the heart of the book by bringing the issue to life. The author, generous with a story's details, draws us into the complexity of each individual's situation. Since the stories bring up a number of unresolved questions and issues, Stone provides at the conclusion of each chapter a section similar to what might be included in a workbook called "Help Yourself," and interspersed throughout each chapter are "Fast Facts," which offer statistics and other information derived from research. Stone even includes a chapter for Black male survivors of sexual abuse and addresses the ways in which masculine socialization might hinder healing. Although the purpose of "No Secrets, No Lies" is to give voice to an issue that has long been silenced in the Black community, the book is so comprehensive and compelling that I'm inclined to believe anyone of any race or gender would find it helpful.

- Reviewed by Pat McGann, MCSR's director of outreach