Write Your Way Whole

Let’s say you’ve had a bad day – an upsetting blow-up with your boss or a misunderstanding with your partner. Or you’ve had a joyous time with the kids. You can get some support and nurturing, or hold on to the sweet memories, through writing – a simple yet profound technique to cultivate wellness and help you heal.

As a therapist, I know there are many different ways for my clients to process emotions and experiences besides talk therapy. I remind them that writing – even if you do not consider yourself a “writer” – is a powerful way to cope with grief, depression, anxiety and trauma. It’s also a tool for self-care when you’re feeling good. Whether you already keep a journal or rarely put pen to paper, now may be the time to add some simple writing strategies to your self-care toolkit.

Therapeutic writing techniques

Some effective writing techniques involve “containers” – which help create structure for your writing. Time is a common example of a container that puts a specific limit, say five minutes, on how long you write. Using a prompt to get you started writing is another type of container. You can write in response to a specific question, or an image such as a photograph or piece of artwork, that prompts you to think about a memory or experience. 

Psychotherapist Kay Adams developed a model for writing called the Journal Ladder that includes a spectrum of writing techniques that offer different degrees of structure, and pacing. One example of a Ladder technique is list making, like a list of 25 ways you can treat yourself that have nothing to do with food. That act of writing the list focuses your thinking and can lead to insight when you reflect on what you wrote. 

Another example from Adams is Sentence Stems. These are partial sentences that you complete, such as “Right now I feel _______” or “The most important thing I can take from this experience is _______” This sentence completion process is simple and can help provide clarity to your thoughts and feelings. Writing a letter that you don’t necessarily have to send is another way Adams suggests to stimulate insights and increase your self-awareness. 

Research psychologist James Pennebaker has studied and popularized what’s called expressive writing. The idea is for individuals to write about a difficult or traumatic situation but in a time-limited, focused way. His technique offers structure so people don’t relive traumatic memories and get overwhelmed by them.

How it works: Write about a challenging time for four consecutive days, 20 minutes per day. The situation can be something recent or from the past that troubles you, and the technique involves simply writing whatever comes up. On the third day of writing, he suggests writing about the situation from a different perspective – say, as a different person or even an inanimate object. On the fourth day, you return to writing from your perspective for another 20 minutes.

After the four days are complete, you can read and reflect on what you wrote. You can also write about how the process made you feel. Pennebaker’s research has found those who used expressive writing in this way had stronger immune systems, fewer illnesses and improved mood, among other positive benefits.

Novelist and expressive therapies expert Zelda Lockhart provides another way to write about personal experiences. She suggests using what she calls “jump starters” such as music, images or literature. If you get stuck as you journal, grab a book full of rich imagery, open it and put your finger on a page. Wherever your finger lands, that’s your jump starter.

Yet another way to write about your experience is to focus on your senses. If you are writing about a memory, for example, try to recall what it smelled like. What did it feel like? Sound like? Really tune in to and write about the details. Sensory experiences can help unlock memory and feelings. 

Writing for joy

If you make it a consistent habit, writing for just a few minutes a day can become a healing practice and a joyful experience. Focusing on gratitude in your writing can help you focus on the positive and improve both mental and physical health.  

Writing with others is also a great way to connect, share experiences and have those experiences witnessed by a supportive community. If you’d like to be a part of a community writing event, join me for Wake Up Everybody, on July 19 at 7am - 8:30am EST (Registration required). In this free virtual event, our topic is “We Won’t Go Back: Poetry, Power and Justice,” and we will use literature and lyrics to explore social justice issues. 

My practice also offers other women-centered groups to support your growth and healing, including Working While Black, a support group for Black women working in white spaces, and S.W.E.L.L., a group for single women. 

The great thing about writing is it is just for you – no one else has to read it. The act of writing can stimulate your creative juices, lead to a deeper relationship with yourself, and help you determine what changes you need to make or what actions you can take to make a difference for yourself and in the world.