How to Be Intentional about Rediscovering Your Joy

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The last few weeks might have caused you to feel like you were on an emotional rollercoaster. A feeling that is likely compounded by the emotions of the last 18 months as we all continue to navigate life during the age of a global pandemic. From the conviction for the murder of George Floyd to the continuing harm caused to people of color in this country to “bad actors” who are working hard to limit our voting rights and our right to protest, it’s easy to feel like you're enduring 1,000 pricks at your joy. You might feel exhausted, you might feel sad or you might feel angry as hell. And you know what? It’s all okay. 

As people of color, we often don’t allow ourselves to slow down and feel the “feels.” We think we don’t have time for that right now, or we try to avoid it completely. We pick up, carry on and keep pushing forward -- just as our ancestors did. It’s part of our makeup. But it can also be a part of us that resists acknowledging the heartbreak when we learn about -- or witness via continuous media loops -- the debasement of humans who look like us. 

It’s important to be aware that this can be traumatic. The effects of the trauma may look different for each of us. You may find it hard to focus. You may not want to socialize with friends. You may snap at your little one for no reason. You may feel sick and tired. It’s important to recognize that what you’re feeling may stem from navigating this current environment where there’s so much injustice, uncertainty, fear, and loss. 

And just as you acknowledge what you’re experiencing, you can choose to be intentional about countering it. We have always had the ability to reach for joy, even in the midst of the most oppressive times. Our ancestors showed us that too. Now is the time for you to call on that again. 

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Here are some simple ways to be intentional about reclaiming your joy. 

• Reconnect. Be among your family and friends, whether virtually or safely in person. A catch-up with your sister circle cultivates a sense of community and can soothe your soul.
  

• Laugh. Find an oldie-but-goodie movie that you know is going to crack you up -- or a throw on anything featuring Tiffany Haddish. Laughter is actually good for you -- it relieves stress and releases feel-good hormones from your brain.
  

• Start a new hobby. Do something new that is completely for your enjoyment. Maybe it’s something you’ve been wanting to try for a while or something you never imagined you’d try, such as gardening or learning how to play an instrument.
  

• Add play to your day. With work, family and life -- we often get so busy we let go of the fun things that added spark to our lives. Explore those things again. Maybe it’s riding your bike, coloring, arts & crafts, or illuminating cultural games like Meet the Colonizers or Culture Tags.
  

• Talk to someone. Part of getting through this time is knowing that you’re not in this alone. Talk to a friend, a counselor, a spiritual teacher, or some other trustworthy person and share what you’re feeling. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, tap into resources such as Therapy for Black Girls or Clinicians of Color.

Being intentional about your joy doesn’t mean that you’re ignoring your feelings. But you deserve to feel good and to find what brings you happiness. Claim that. It will help get you through.

We’ve Experienced Racial Pain, Here Are Ways to Heal From It

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Racism can feel like a daily occurrence in America, and there are so many ways we can experience it. There’s the random white woman touching your hair without your permission. The passive-aggressive colleagues who never really liked you and you think you know why. Or even the security guard that watches you way too closely while you’re out shopping. All of these experiences, and more, can add up to racial trauma, something that affects many of us every day. Especially after 2020.

It’s all exhausting and it can take a toll on our mental health. And it can be hard to prove or even diagnose, especially when speaking to a white doctor or therapist. However, recognizing the impact of these experiences in your life can be immensely helpful. That validation can help contribute to your recovery.

In my latest article for the Sisters AARP newsletter, “We’ve Experienced Racial Pain, Here Are Ways to Heal From It”, I share tips on how to identify the effects of racially traumatic experiences and start the healing process. Click to read the full article here.

When Racism’s Heavy Toll Contributes to Weight Problems

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The chronic racism in the United States is stressing out Black people all over the country. That stress may be causing us to hold our emotions in our bodies and causing us gain to weight. As upsetting as the actual act of racism is outwardly, we must remember to look inward and heal ourselves emotionally, mentally, and physically. Racism contributes to long-term chronic pain and life long diseases. Now that we know this, it's our job to be gentle with ourselves and take the time to nurture the only body we have now so we can continue to be great.

When your body is assaulted with racism, it can express itself mentally as anxiety, depression, irritability, exhaustion, and feeling overwhelmed. Physically, stress caused by racism can manifest itself as heart disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and increased fat around your abdominal area. 

In my latest article for the Sisters AARP newsletter, “When Racism’s Heavy Toll Contributes to Weight Problems”, I share tips on how to heal your body in the moment and how to create a long term routine to combat the physical effects of racism. Click to read the full article here. 

Healthy boundaries Matter

As Americans of all stripes march and rally and push to end racial injustice, not only are Black folks reinvigorated to to fight chronic, systemic racism — the other pandemic that we we’ve been facing all along — we’re also being asked to talk about it! In addition to exploring with family and friends in spaces where we feel comfortable, some of us are being invited by white colleagues to share our thoughts and experiences at the office.

But maybe you don’t want to talk about it at the office. And you know what? That’s OK!

In my latest article for the Sisters AARP newsletter, “Boundaries Matter: It’s OK to Not Want to Talk To White People about Racism,” I share some ways you can establish healthy boundaries in your workplace so that you can take care and protect yourself from racially traumatic experiences in white spaces. Read the article here.