We’ve Experienced Racial Pain, Here Are Ways to Heal From It

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Racism can feel like a daily occurrence in America, and there are so many ways we can experience it. There’s the random white woman touching your hair without your permission. The passive-aggressive colleagues who never really liked you and you think you know why. Or even the security guard that watches you way too closely while you’re out shopping. All of these experiences, and more, can add up to racial trauma, something that affects many of us every day. Especially after 2020.

It’s all exhausting and it can take a toll on our mental health. And it can be hard to prove or even diagnose, especially when speaking to a white doctor or therapist. However, recognizing the impact of these experiences in your life can be immensely helpful. That validation can help contribute to your recovery.

In my latest article for the Sisters AARP newsletter, “We’ve Experienced Racial Pain, Here Are Ways to Heal From It”, I share tips on how to identify the effects of racially traumatic experiences and start the healing process. Click to read the full article here.

When Racism’s Heavy Toll Contributes to Weight Problems

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The chronic racism in the United States is stressing out Black people all over the country. That stress may be causing us to hold our emotions in our bodies and causing us gain to weight. As upsetting as the actual act of racism is outwardly, we must remember to look inward and heal ourselves emotionally, mentally, and physically. Racism contributes to long-term chronic pain and life long diseases. Now that we know this, it's our job to be gentle with ourselves and take the time to nurture the only body we have now so we can continue to be great.

When your body is assaulted with racism, it can express itself mentally as anxiety, depression, irritability, exhaustion, and feeling overwhelmed. Physically, stress caused by racism can manifest itself as heart disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, and increased fat around your abdominal area. 

In my latest article for the Sisters AARP newsletter, “When Racism’s Heavy Toll Contributes to Weight Problems”, I share tips on how to heal your body in the moment and how to create a long term routine to combat the physical effects of racism. Click to read the full article here. 

How Black Women Can Put Their Anger To Good Use

The “angry Black woman” trope can be damaging to a Black woman’s psyche and your sense of self if you let it. But there are ways that your anger can inform and empower you. 

As the writer James Baldwin famously said in a 1961 radio interview when asked about being Black in America: “To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a state of rage almost all of the time — and in one's work. And part of the rage is this: It isn't only what is happening to you. But it's what's happening all around you and all of the time in the face of the most extraordinary and criminal indifference, indifference of most white people in this country, and their ignorance.”

Baldwin shared this observation nearly 60 years ago, but if you take inventory of the state of the world today -- in your life and in the broader society -- there’s still a lot to be angry about. It’s likely that you deal with persistent microaggressions in your professional and personal life, with  knowing that you are paid 38% less than white men and 21% less than white women even while you’re as qualified, and with experiencing repeated trauma from a newsfeed full of outrageous stories about the policing of Black bodies. Add to that the disproportionate impact of the COVID-19 virus on Black and Brown communities, and how could you not be angry?

Too many Black women feel they can’t acknowledge, much less express, their own anger for fear of being labeled an “angry Black woman.” But getting in touch with your anger could be just what you need to move through difficult experiences in your life.

As I recently wrote in an article for Sisters AARP, “anger is a part of a full range of emotions, and even though it’s a negative emotion (as are fear, anxiety and sadness), that doesn’t make it unhealthy. All emotions are useful because they convey information, and negative emotions help you recognize threats and respond to danger. So the question is, what is your anger telling you, and what can you do in response?”

Read on for the full article, You’re an Angry Black Woman? Own It. And learn how to put your anger to good use.

Healthy boundaries Matter

As Americans of all stripes march and rally and push to end racial injustice, not only are Black folks reinvigorated to to fight chronic, systemic racism — the other pandemic that we we’ve been facing all along — we’re also being asked to talk about it! In addition to exploring with family and friends in spaces where we feel comfortable, some of us are being invited by white colleagues to share our thoughts and experiences at the office.

But maybe you don’t want to talk about it at the office. And you know what? That’s OK!

In my latest article for the Sisters AARP newsletter, “Boundaries Matter: It’s OK to Not Want to Talk To White People about Racism,” I share some ways you can establish healthy boundaries in your workplace so that you can take care and protect yourself from racially traumatic experiences in white spaces. Read the article here.

How to stay Connected While Navigating This New World

Although parts of the world are opening back up, the coronavirus pandemic is still ever-present, fraying nerves and patience as we all learn to adapt. Between balancing work (or looking for work), wondering if the kids will have camp this summer and way too many Zoom meetings and toilet paper scavenger hunts, it may seem as if the last thing you and your honey have time to think about is each other. If stress and busyness have created distance between you, it may be time to reconnect.

In a recent article I wrote for Sisters from AARP, I share how the stress we’re all under — whether we’re still quarantined or navigating life within this new world — can keep us from checking in with each other and making sure our “love tanks” are full. Click here to learn some simple ways to reconnect, refill and keep your love alive.